Relationshit.

I feel like almost everyone has been having a roller coaster year. It seems like at one point we're all on top and on our high horse, and then the next we feel manically depressed and just want to give up on the world. On my part, my roller coaster has been due to a lot of illnesses, suffered by me and close family members a like. For a lot of other people though, this has been a roller coaster of relationships and heart breaks. Now, I'm not gonna make it seem like I haven't had my share of difficult relationships and unwanted feelings, we all have, but I just have an urge to appraise everyone else's from my own perspective. For some, its a matter of just getting as much sex and hooking up as they can possibly handle. Actually, its more than just some, its pretty much 50+% of high school students. Honestly, this disheartens me. I'm not a huge fan of friends with benefits, just because feelings are almost always developed afterwards, and someone tends to get hurt. Some people are completely cool with that, and, fine, thats completely fine, but at least try to keep the other persons feelings in mind, and just make sure it'll end up being ONLY that. Personally, I can't really do this. First of all, I'm an incredibly sensitive person - more than I let on. I also require a lot of intellectual stimulation, aside from just physical. I like this idea of possessing someone on not just a physical level, but an emotional level as well. I find that to be the biggest turn on. I like this odd idea of understanding someone before I hook up with them, so I can see how it all works out as a whole. Its creepy, but I love understanding and observing people. Now, I don't psychoanalyze people, but I find it fascinating how people act based on past experiences, financial situations, family relationships, friendships, etc. I just really love learning about how humans act. (Its funny though, the more I learn, the more I hate people.) The kind of people I tend to like, are the ones that find one person that they love, and stick with them. They display self control when faced with other possible hook ups, and are not only in a relationship with their significant other, but friends with them too. I think this kind of thing is incredibly sweet. Something I most certainly long for. I won't kill myself though, I have plenty of time, and I'm sure I'll eventually find someone I love and I'll be happy with. I think this is something that a lot of girls my age don't realize. They don't realize that in a few years from now, you're not gonna be in love with the same person, I mean, unless you're in a really good relationship with them. It really pisses me off how weak some girls act when talking about the guy they like. Honestly, its not your fault if he's not into you, it just means it wasn't meant to be. Once you learn that the other person isn't interested, its time to at least try and move on. Its difficult to move on from someone you really care about, believe me I know, but at least make the effort, because in the end it'll be a lot healthier for you and your self esteem. For myself, it doesn't take me very long to get over someone. I simply go through something that makes me decide "Okay, this person isn't interested/did something I really don't like. Its time to move on." Once I get past that decision, I simply remove myself from the other person for a few days, and I'm done. For other people though, once you fall for someone intensely, you can't get yourself out of it. If you know you're like this, you'll need to try and prevent it early on. By that I mean, try not to fall for someone too hard. At least be conscious of your emotions, and take steps to make sure you don't loose your head all together. Just some advice. And if the person isn't interested, do not by any means change yourself to get them to like you. From my observations, this tends to turn guys off a lot. Don't kill yourself either. Don't whine and complain about how you're so ugly and so stupid and he'll never like you. If you don't love yourself, how the fuck are you supposed to love somebody else? Honestly, have some self respect. For those girls who don't like the guys they like control their life, I give a lot of respect to. It shows maturity, and to be perfectly honest, in high school we need as much of that as we can get.

I feel really shallow writing about relationships and love at a high school level, but I just needed to get those thoughts out. I think a lot of people need to hear it. Also, these are my opinions, don't feel like you need to agree with them. I don't profess to know anything about these situation either, and I do realize I sound incredibly pompous throughout this entire rant, so please ignore that.